Tuesday 24 January 2012

THE LATEST MUST READ ADVENTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!! CRAZY SHIT HAPPENING IN THIS PLACE!

DAY 4 Bikaner-Kuri
Today is going to be a very long drive.Our driver tells us 6 hours but we have worked out every time he tells us how long the journey is going to be add another 2 hours!So lets say 8 hours.We buy lots of fruit and water for the long drive ahead.It’s not so bad as we know at the end of this drive we have something very exciting to look forward to!We are going on a camel safari and then camping in the dessert.
Looking out the window its very yellow,bland,sparse,,sandy and dusty but in the Indian dessert for some reason there are lots of shrubs and trees.
I don’t know wether I have mentioned before how cold I is here.Me and Sorcha packed enough clothes for a day of coldness as we did not plan on being in the cold for so long.The last 4 days we have worn the same socks, trousers and layered many tops. Thank god for Bree buying me that north face coat as a leaving present I am living in the inner fleece! We stop along the way at truck stops drinking the world’s best chai for 5 cents, eating samousas and Bombay mix whilst local Rajhistanis ask us to pose for photos on their mobile phones and stare at us in amazement. These stops are nice, nobody hassels, begs or tries to sell you random shit. Talking about shit I would like to mention when we drive from place to place every day there are no toilets or rest rooms along the way we have to stop at the side of the road wherever we can and do our business in a bush or behind a rock. Every time I decide to squat somewhere there are these bloody dry shrub thorn twigs that always stab or attack me.
It’s funny…Everybody I spoke to about visiting India all said we will lose so much weight but I really cant see how. We eat curry, rice and bread for meals and all the snacks here are deep fried.Ok we do drink water all day but in the night when we have a few before bed the only thing available is beer. Now it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that a diet of curry, rice, bread and beer could lead to a fatty fatty bumba figure! Me and Sorcha are thiking along the lines that because everything is spicy it will speed up our metabolism and maybe it will burn off quick? But for 6-8 hours a day we are sitting on our asses in the car getting to the next destination only stopping to stretch when we need to relieve ourselves in the dessert or eat more curry!
I am actually typing this latest entry whilst we are in the car we have just stopped at a tea stall and they had a toilet! Hole in the ground, the smell of urine is so strong in these little rooms your eyes sting and the smell hit’s the back of your throat so bad u heave. There was shit sprayed up the back of the wall where someone had very bad Diarrhoea or very bad aim! I would have rather gone in the bush!
We arrived in Kuri and it was an old crumbling village surrounded by dessert, sand dunes, camels, shrubs and women carrying everything you can imagine on their heads.
The temperature has risen now it is late afternoon and we climb aboard our camel to explore the Rajhistanis dessert. It is so scary when the camel stands up and I have my fear face on, my knuckles are white from holding on so tight and I don’t know wether I am sweating with nerves or because its 24 degrees.
We head deep into the dessert with just the tinkling sound of the camel bells ringing in our ears.
It’s so peaceful here, no car horns, no motorbike beeps, no beggars…. Bliss.
We watch the most amazing sunset. The sky turns orange and the huge sun is a bright fiery orange setting behind the massive yellow dunes.
The ride back to the base is a fast one with the camels speeding up. Our asses are throbbing and our inner thighs are trembling like jelly. We eat another fantastic vegetarian feast of rice, bread, vegetable curries, vegetable dishes and chai whilst watching a lively colourful group of Indian musicians and dancers.
10pm we get wrapped up and layer our cloches and hop aboard the camel trailer. Well, everybody hops aboard easily. I try and fall off first attempt with our group of 5 laughing at me. Typical Paula..
Our camel owner Raga is an old Indian man of about 70 with a million wrinkles and a very sad old face. He is really old and cute and once again I feel sympathy for the little Indian man and imagine he’s my dad. I don’t know why I do this. Every little man we meet I always think ‘’ah he could be someone’s dad. Imagine if my dad had to lift blankets and people onto a camel’’ I know my dad’s not 70 but I still feel like they should not be working so hard! It’s pitch black and we can’t see anything. The only thing we take with us is the clothes on our back, a torch , toilet paper and some beer which I might add cost $4 each in India! But hey we are in the dessert,. We set up camp Rajasthan style. Blankets and sheets of various thicknesses with various stains and smells laid on the ground with sand pushed in a pile under the sheet to act as a pillow. I have a funny feeling we wont be getting any sleep tonight!
There are a million stars in the sky it is so beautiful. Prage goes to collect wood for a fire and I help him. Those bloody thorn tree wig things are catching on my trousers, scarf and hat and are pissing me off .I have a huge pile of wood and am a bit sad when Praga tells me to throw half of it back as its still wet. I should have learnt from camping with camp master Jeeno in Oz what is dead and wet!
We light the fire then one of the other 2 campers that are with us pulls out some charras(Indian cannabis) and opium. We discover the charras is tea leaves, they have been flogged! Praga tells us the opium is very strong and is definitely opium and to be careful and only take a little bit. He sticks a twig in and licks a pin head amount. 10 minutes before this we had all stuck our fingers in and sucked off a massive blob! It tasted of petrol,tar,camel shit and had the consistency of tar. We cant feel anything or any side effects though. We is around the fire watching the stars, shooting stars fly past and Praga sings hypnotising Indian prayers till the late hours. When we go to ‘bed’ we fall asleep star gazing after minutes of our heads hitting the sand.
Wake up later than normal 7.30am and all of us agree it was the best un interrupted sleep we have had our whole time in India. It’s freezing cold so we pack up and head back on our camel to the next destination.
KURI-JAISLMER DAY 5
Jaislmer is the quickest drive ever. Only one hour and we are in a bustling medieval city surrounded by a fort. All the buildings are made from sandstone and everything looks very Aladdin style if you catch my drift. The streets are full of bright fabrics,mirrors,silver,tunics,sarongs,bindis,cows,goats,deep fried goody stalls and lots and lots of motorbikes beeping loudly. Our ears are ringing, we are hot, sweaty, agitated, overheating and getting irritated by all the shop keepers trying to drag us into their Aladdin’s caves of goods.
Food time strikes and we head into a local ‘thalis’ food shop. When you go in these places you are given 5 small silver dishes.In each dish is a type of curry, pickle, rice, vegetable dish and sauce. You are then given copius amounts of freshly made rotis or naan bread and eat with your right hand. My thumb and two fingers are constanly yellow because of all the eaing with hands, No matter how much we scrub and wash there is still a slight curry smell with a yellow tinge on our skin. Nice.
The place is filthy, we have dirt on our skin off the tables and the poor little boy who is serving us is filthy dressed in rags. He is amazed by us and tells us him name and shakes our hand. His face is so black with dirt his teeth look even whiter than white. The meal cost us amount 1 dollar each.
Reading the lonely planet I spot ‘something’ for us to do. In Jaislmer there is a shop called a Bhang shop.
This is what the book says, ‘Some restaurants in popular tourists centres whip up bhang lassies- a yogurt and iced water beverage laced with cannabis or other narcotics. Commonly dubbed ‘special lassie’ this often potent concoction can cause varying degrees of ecstasy, drawn out delirium, hallucination, nausea and paranoia. Note that some travellers have been ill for several days, robbed or hurt in accidents, after drinking this fickle brew. A few towns have legal(controlled)bhang outlets such as the bhang shop in Jaislmer.’
We head to the Bhang shop and are handed the menu. Tea, coffee, lassies, magic cigarettes, cakes, smoking herbs, cookies all of various strengths. Budget goes out the window and we order 3 cookies, 2 shakes and 50g of charras (legal weed) to take away.
The lassi shake is delicious and me and sorcha drink on the roof of the hotel.We smoke some charras and are very relaxed. Head to bed and have he best sleep again.
Breakfast at the hotel today was cold toast and coffee so we stop at an Indian place and get some marsala parantha (bread filled with potato,spices,chilli and onion),a cup of chai and pickle.
Me and sorcha are smoking a little treat before the journey and our driver comes to check I out. He looks shocked and we try to explain what it is but no joy.
I don’t get it. In the book it says all drugs are illegal and there is a minimum jail sentence of 10 years for any drug. Cases can take up to two years before they are even brought to court. We explain to our driver what we have bought and where from and apparently because it’s government owned its ok? This place is getting crazier by the day! We have still not ate the cookies. We are keeping them for our next dessert safari in a few days. Hopefully they won’t go mouldy in our bag!
We have been in the car about 3 hours now and its funny, the Indian music is playing on the stereo, sorcha is reading her bookie typing, USA is eating nibbles and Vikash is watching the road.
He is driving very fast today we have nearly shit ourselves 3 times with speeding lorries just missing us. The lorries swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid cows, shit or whatever else is on the road! It seems human life is not important here. Ever day when we are driving you think a million things… I’ve been thinking about my family. I miss my mum and dad so much and wish I could speak to them every day. I bought an Indian phone yesterday so hopefully they call as I don’t have their numbers but emailed my sister mine.
I think lots about work in Weipa and really miss my job. I miss cooking, I miss Australia and a few of my good friends. I don’t miss cairns at all and am glad to be away from the drinking and partying.
DAY6 JASIMER-JODHPUR
Jodhpur is nicknamed the blue city. All the buildings here are washed with light blue colour, it looks really pretty from a high point. The fort here is enormous and probably one of the biggest we have seen. We did decide this morning that we was not going to visit anymore forts as we are not that much into history but when we seen it towering over he city we couldn’t resist. On the way to the fort a group of local Indians play music and the youngest of the group does a little dance. It’s so cute! Every time we see something interesting, weird or good viewing I video. I have quite a few random clips saved now and will put together a little DVD at the end of my trip.
The city is full of market stalls selling bright saris, fabrics teas and spices. The city is so dull, dirty, dark and gloomy and the bright materials stand out like bright lights. The materials are amazing and I want to buy everything. The smell of spices and teas linger in the dusty air and we stop at a tea shop to try some Darjeeling chai. Our driver tells us he knows of a very nice Punjabi ‘restaurant’ and we decide to eat meat. Resaurants in India are no like you imagine. They are like truckers cafes and full of Indians who stare at us like we are aliens when we enter. This place was filthy, dark, smelly and had the atmosphere of a grave yard. The brightly wrapped turban heads turn to stare when we enter and we take a seat on a dirty plastic chair and dusty table. It smells of shit where we are sitting and we realise this is due to some sort of rodent and cat or dog shit that is on the sill next to our table. We cant leave as Vikas has brought us here so we don’t wan to be rude. We order mutton (Indians do not eat beef as the cows are holy) in various forms but Vikas wont eat. He wants to wait till we get back to our Indian homestay so he can eat with his whisky. I feel so sorry for him he looks so tired his eyes are closing.We also just discovered he cant read! We gave him the menu and asked him what each dish was he asked the man and then we realised everywhere we go he asks for directions and does not read signs! The poor fellow only went to school for a year. He must have not told us he cannot read as he is embarrassed. Now I feel even more sorry for him,bless-I’m a sucker for old people.
Food is fantastic even with the smell of shit hanging in the air and we head back to our Indian home stay for the night.
DAY 7 Jodpur- Ranakapur
The sun rises with the sound of parrots screeching outside and he smell of parantha in the air. Parantha is Indian bread made with onion and potato served with pickle for breakfast followed by a cup of chai.
Our chef cooks breakfast in the garden in front of us while I make another video haha.
Only a 3 hour drive today Vikas tells us-so make that 5 hours I reckon. Vikas has 2 shots of whisky a night before bed so I decide to stop off at an Indian bottle shop to buy him of his favourite tipple. I have to ask him what brand he drinks so I get the right one and he gets out to buy it as its cheaper for Indians to buy things here. If any of us white folk went in it would cost us double or even treble! I give him about six dollars for a litre and he wont take the money he just wants a quarter bottle for 2 dollars. I tell him to buy a big one and he wont so I eventually say I will be very angry if he doesn’t buy a big bottle and he accepts the offer. I look at him in the shop and he is checking out the prices to find the cheapest bless him. He comes back to the car beaming with joy holding the whisky like a trophy. He cannot stop saying thank you and wiggling his little head side to side. ‘You must drink with me!You must share’ he says. He cannot accept it is for him only.
The town we are driving to is a holy town so no alcohol is allowed and he tells us to keep quiet about the whisky.
He tells us in the night to not accept food off the landlord of he hotel as he is going to buy and kill a chicken and take us into the mountains to cook us dry chicken tikka and drink whisky. He drums into us ‘please, please, please, please do not tell boss man I am cooking for you!’ We agree.
A huge marble temple is in the centre of town but we are bored of temples. We go for a peek and I is amazing. One of the prettiest temples we have seen. Walking there we see monkeys, cows, goats, peacocks and a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains.

OH MY GOD! It’s 20.52 and I had to write this post right now!!!!
OK. Vikas rang us at 17.00 and said there is a big problem. The man at the hotel is angry as you are not eating dinner there. We say it’s ok no problem. He tells us to meet him outside at 19.00 hrs discreetly. We packed our Indian charras(weed) and magic cookies and all left separately and got into his car outside. He kept saying it’s a big problem but we said if it is a big problem we will stay here. He said ’no, ,no I promised you we go.’ Sorcha said we will stay here. was adamant we go. We drove about 10 minutes away and then he pulled over at the side of the road in the darkness. Vikas opened the boot of the car and there was chicken tikka already cooked wrapped up in newspaper cold. It seemed like we were on a major drugs deal creeping about in the dark and the drivers were nervous and on edge. We were wondering why they were so scared??? We all got a glass of whisky and started eating the chicken. It was divine. A few minutes passed and the hotel owner turned up with a guy on the back of his motorbike. They pulled out torches and looked at us all and started shouting in Indian. Vikas and another Indian driver who was with us were apologising and telling us to sit in the car. We could not understand anything that was being said but it was very heated and we heard the words police. I bloody shit myself as I had the weed and cookies. I have never been so nervous in all my life! I decided to ditch the stash but then decided to hide it in my pants in case they noticed it when the lights of the car went on. I am shitting myself, sorcha is telling me to give it to her and calm down- I wont. I then decide to tell the other driver what I have on me and he says its fine and takes it off me. I am ok now. At this point Vikas is literally bent over on the ground kissing the owners shoes saying sorry, sorry, sorry…. The other driver comes to us and starts to put together a story for the police when they arrive. The story is we wanted to eat elsewhere and we bought the booze and only us drank not he drivers. We all agreed on the story and waited…waited. Waited… half an hour passes the owner leaves without any bribe money and Vikas starts to cry saying sorry sorry…We hug him and tell him its ok and give him a well deserved shot of whisky. We couldn’t understand what was going on or what he problem was but the driver explained to us that in India it is very bad for anybody to take business away from the hotels. We wanted to do this and its our holiday so what is the problem? We just wanted a traditional Indian feast without the fuss.
We drove off and they then stop at another side road closer to the hotel. The whisky bottle is once again shared round nad the chicken comes out. What the hell is going on. They keep apologising and telling us to eat and drink. To be honest I just want to go home and have a big fat poo because my nerves are gone!
He explains we have to hang round because if we go back the hotel Vikas will lose face and will show ultimate submissiveness and the hotel owner will be bale to bleed as much money from Vikas as he wants. We stay there for another half hour with the other driver who speaks better English telling us that if police ever sop us because Vikas goes through a red light as an example we must be strong and speak for him and say we are visitors of the Indian government and we should tell them to speak to us not the driver. We must be strong. We all agree to be strong(I am pretending). Then he asks me to dinner tomorrow me an him alone! I tell him I have a boyfriend and he will be angry and he says no just friends! I say thankyou but NO! By this time Vikas is drunk and we have to leave .He starts the engine. He hit’s the other drivers car as he pulls out and then apologises provously and speeds back to the hotel at 5k an hr. I just want to get back now. Sorcha is being the mum telling me to stay calm whilst matt is loving the political action.
We arrive at the hotel and there is a mob of Indians waiting for us in the car park. We see the owner and tell him its very bad business what he has done and we will be reporting him to the embassy and trip advisor(they all ask you to give good reports to trip advisor its like they’re bible). We all say ‘bad man, bad business,…’ and he tells us the police have been called .
We go to our room leaving matt with Vikas as there is a mob of Indians surrounding him and vikas is so small we feel he is being threatened.
One of the hotel staff come to our room and say the tour company boss is on the phone and wants to speak to us. We let matt do he talking. Matt tells him we asked Vikas to take us out, he never drank, he has been the best driver and guide and the problem is with the hotel owner. We really don’t want vikas to lose his job, Now we realise why he always refuses drinks and is worried when we go out as the man says the driver should not let us eat out, stop at random places other than the hotel and should not let us walk about on our own. Matt explains its our holiday we don’t like staying in the hotels and this is what we want to do. The hotel owner has told him a completely different story saying vikas was drinking on the side of the road with us and we were in the middle of nowhere. We was but it was our choice but we never told him this. Now we are all sitting in our room wondering what’s in store for tomorrow and will the other driver meet us with our cookies and charras!
 

Saturday 21 January 2012

India last few days...

Arrived at Manchester airport 4 hours early to be on the safe side for my flight for London.
Little did I know that should have rang the airline a few days before to check my flight had not been changed. The flight was changed which meant I had to pay for another flight at the cost of 140 bloody quid with British Airways…Bummer.
Arrived in London in perfect time for my Delhi flight.
Boarded the plane to Delhi which was half empty so I got my own seat.
A delicious 6 course Indian dinner was served and thoroughly enjoyed even though I never knew what half of it was. The plane then stunk of curry for the next 7 hours of the flight which made me feel a bit bilious. No matter how many times I brushed my teeth my mouth still tasted of a drunken Indian take away.
Time to get off the plane and I have honestly never felt as nervous arriving somewhere as I did then.
There was probably 500 Indians in the passport queue and 4 westerners. It took an hour to finally get through immigration and then I entered the chaos of Delhi arrivals area.
I had a taxi man picking me up from the hotel and was told to just look out for my name on a sign. Pretty easy hey? There was heaps of Indians waiting with signs so I had to walk back and forth along the lines with them all staring at me, feeling uncomfortable, paranoid and intimidated.
Then I spot my name in flashing lights! Well, not really it was just on a piece of white paper but I have never felt so relieved to see my name wrote on a piece of paper!
The man took my big bag and I carried my little one and he ran to the car park with me running after him. I wondered why we had to run. When we finally finished running up 3 flights of stairs in the concrete jungle I realised it was so he didn’t have to pay extra car parking fees!
Headed to Delhi…crazy roads…camels….crumbling buildings…goats and cows in the road…no road rules….crazy roads…noisy…smelly….foggy…cold…wet....damp….not how I imagined India at all.
Where is all the colour I seen on TV? All the pretty clothes? Blue skies? Scenery? It just reminded me of when I watched TV when I was young and the gulf war was being aired.
Every road and street has a raw sewage gutter running down the side of it and it smells disgusting. If you cant smell piss you can smell shit and if u cant smell that its curry. It stinks everywhere.
Its funny as I write this I think it sound like we are forever moaning but its weird we still enjoy I and are excited for the next day. It just feel s like 9 out 10 people want to rip us off but then when you meet that 1 who does not want to rip you off it makes you happy. Lots of Indians are so intrigued by our whiteness and ask to take photos of us and say hello, shake our hands, want to practice English and its nice.
Arrived at the ‘hotel’ which was not as described on the website. There was a bed, real toilet and a hot shower so that’s all that mattered.
Was very strange but nice to see Sorcha in India. We finally decided to venture outside and explore the streets of Delhi but we were so scared and nervous! Everybody was staring at us like we had two heads and we felt really uncomfortable. We found a chai stall had the best chai of our lives and then discovered a tourist office where we enquired about a few trips. The guy told us all about a 14 day Rajasthan tour but it was nearly $750 each!!! It took us an hour and two cups of chai before we could finally escape him and headed to the government tourist office which was meant to be the cheapest safest option around.
A tuk tuk takes us to he government office and asks do we drive.I say yes and he lets me drive the tuk tuk.Sorchs is shitting herself but filming in the process. I get a bit scared when more veichles come and give the wheel back!!
After another hour of tour chats we came to a price of $780 which was more expensive but we thought it was better as it was a government option. We both still thought it was really expensive for India but it was the government so we thought this was the right price.
The man sent us with his driver to the hotel to pick our money up. The driver parked the car and headed down the street with us. Me and Sorcha quietly discussed was we doing the right thing. We decided to say no. I broke the ice and told the man and after a few min of persuasion and a phone call to the boss he was gone and we were relieved. We then got the tour for half the price in our hotel which I was still a bit iffy about as I hate tours and being on a schedule but it seemed so much easier and less hassle than buying train tickets, bus tickets and booking accommodation.
We met an American guy who wanted to do the same tour so he joined us and now there is 3 of us for our Rajasthan adventure.
Day 1.
Delhi-Mandawa An 8 hour drive which pissed us off as we have spent more time in the car. Which I thought would happen with a tour…Got dropped off at a massive hotel which we would never have opted to stay in full of holiday makers and not backpackers. Mandawa was a really small town, half crumbling, old buildings and an old castle. Every Indian we have met has begged, tried to rip us off, sell us things,try to take us on tours or just annoy us. I think it’s because we are on a typical rich holiday makers route and they think we are rich. Very annoying.
Had a little look around the city and then got some beers and went back to the hotel and watched a freaky cheesy ,puppet show-which they tried to charge us for afterwards. Got chatting to the Indian hotel staff who were really nice and we showed them idiot abroad on the laptop which they were highly amused by,smoked birris,drank beer and got free Indian head massages off the waiters!
Day 2 Mandawa-Bikaner
Only a 4 hour drive today thank god.Got up expecting a nice traditional Indian breakfast only to be given Toast and eggs! We ask why? The Waiter tells us it’s what the tourists like..great….cant wait to get off this tour and do the backpacker thing!haha
The scenery is very dessert,yellow and los of camels and goats.
We stop at a temple which is home to thousands of rats! As with every temple you have to take your shoes off before you enter. We walked in stepping on rat shit, pigeon shit,shit everywhere…rats every where..it stunk.For some reason Indians think the rats in this temple are holy so they come and feed and worship them daily.It was all goin great taking photos,walking about on rat shit until one ran up my leg and I nearly shit myself so I decided to get out.Fast.
Arrived in Bikaner at another amazing tourist hotel and headed out and ate a delicious Indian feast for 6$ for 3 people!It was fantastic.We have all still eaten no meat in case we get sick and have not missed it.The vegetable dishes are fantastic.