Monday, 13 February 2012

last week................

Time to leave Varanasi and board a 28 hour train to Mumbai. We are so excited to be getting to a city as apparantly it's 'normal' there and a bit western. A nice bit of western time is just what we need.
Whilst waiting for the train beggars,homeless people and random railway staff jump onto the tracks to pick up rubbish and eat left over sweets or whatever else they can find that is edible. There is human shit all over the tracks too as the toilets on the trains do not have plumbing the toilet waste just falls onto the tracks. I am disgusted to see a man pick up chewing gum which is right next to a human shit and eat it. Fucking disgusting.Dirty bastard I tell you.Makes my stomach turn!
 The train is like all the others, dusty, dirty, smelly and dull. We find our bed which is always a bit of a ball ache(Sorcha's fav word on this trip) and fall into a deep sleep. 6 hours later we awake hungry and pray for a station stop so we can grab something to eat. Train stops a few hours later, I dash off and buy rice wih some sort of potato curry. The rice is cold and he curry is hot. Being a chef I know this is risky but fuck it we are 'starving'.
2 hours later and bam! Sorcha is vomitting, I'm shitting liquid and we have excrutiating stomach cramps.The bumpy train does not help and I really wish we had eaten a packet of bombay bloody mix! The indian guy in the bed next to me is snoring and the guy next to sorcha is eating grapes so fucking loud I thinksorcha's ipods speakers are going to burst to drown out the noise. For the next 27 hours we are in and out of sleep and get off the train feeeling so weak.
An hours auto rick ride trying to find our expensive hotel does not help the mood and we both close our eyes (whilst sorcha swares and tries to tell the driver how to drive and where to go)and wish we were at work living a normal day.
Arrive at the hotel and realise we have booked a dormitory but it is expensive as a hotel as we are in the city and after our 38 hour journey we have a lovely cold shower to look forward too. I would love a 'hannah eggy roberts, edge apt' power shower right now!!
We meet two indian guys who are shooting a bollywood movie and they invite us out for drinks. We go to be sociable and go to a cool western style bar but we feel out of place in our travelling clothes as all the indian girls are really dressed up, make up, heels, SHORT SKIRTS, DRESSES! They are drinking, smoking!? Man, there really are some girls in India that actually do have a life! Drinking here is so expensive and we haven not drank in ages so four vodkas is enough and we head home feeling pretty tipsy.We are now lightweights.
Wake up at 5am to catch a train and move to the salvation army hostel as its way cheaper and I sware I will never drink again.
Get a bed in the 16 bed female dorm which has 1 shower and toilet. I cannot believe there are 16 girls staying in this room.It is filthy.Fast food wrappers litter the floor,scraps of food,paper,rubbish,it stinks and then I venture into the bathroom.... The bin is overflowing with used shitty,pissy toilet paper and because none of these dirty cunts(sorry!!FUMING!)cannot be arsed to empty it they have resided to just dumping the paper,sanitary towels and everything else on the floor?! No way I can get a shower in this sest pit so I hold my breath throw all the shit and rubbish outside and have a nice COLD drip shower.
Spend 12 hours 'sight seeing' in Mumbai.It's hot,noisy,crowded and the sea we were looking forward to dippping our feet in at the shore is toxic.The sea is full of dead animals, clothes, shit, rubbish but it's India we should not expect anything else.The old massive churches are beautiful but I cant take phoos as they are being repaired and are covered in scaffolding and the big old houses look fairytale like.
We finally found a beauty salon and I got my big hairy caterpiller eyebrows threaded after 4 weeks of no plucking.Sorcha got her under arms waxed which was as painful as it looked.The wax was too hot,the girls never had a clue and we wished we could be in BEWAXED!! After watching sorcha's ordeal I decided I was not going to try an 'indian brazilian! Our bushes will have to remain till Goa.I sware we have a few monkeys down there hanging out in the vaginal jungle.
Spoke to mum and dad today which was soooooooooooooo nice.I love it when my phone rings and I see their name pop up! Told them all the crazy tales.Mum thinks I'm crazy for staying and dad just laughs at all the stories.It would be soooo nice for one day at home now! If I could do anything in the world in a day it would be to have a real shower,hot water,nice shower gel,shave my legs,walk the esplanade with Hannah,have a nice strong coffee or cuppa chai with sally,eat a huge thai meal with Jodie and Marty then spend the night on the sofa with my mum,dad,bro's and sisters and a bottle of red wine and cheese!Ah, the things you miss... I still don't know wether I'm going to go the U.K before returning to Australia or go straight to Oz but I need to decide soon so I can book some cheap flights!

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